


Kiss The Girls We Wanna Kiss

by DoDatLikeDat



Series: Brutal and Beautiful [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Ariaman is a thing, But they're trying to get sober, Declarations Of Love, F/F, Fine Stud Natalie (Supergirl), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Illegal Activities, It's the 4x consent asking for me, It's the Height Difference For me, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Addiction, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Ruby Came Out Gay, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26831821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoDatLikeDat/pseuds/DoDatLikeDat
Summary: TW:Mention of Drug Use, Heavy Alcoholism, and Heavy Violence (Choking, Punching and Breaking walls.)But this is the chapter connected in Unbroken of Ruby in Court.
Relationships: Ruby Arias/Natalie Gortman
Series: Brutal and Beautiful [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957177





	Kiss The Girls We Wanna Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> TW: 
> 
> Mention of Drug Use, Heavy Alcoholism, and Heavy Violence (Choking, Punching and Breaking walls.) 
> 
> But this is the chapter connected in Unbroken of Ruby in Court.

The DEO City Headquarters, National City

January 5th, 2020

Time on Natalie'a slightly cracked Iphone: 7:26 p.m

//

"It was only three bullets, I'm fine-"

"Don't you fucking say you're fine right now, I don't care if it were two or seven seeing my girlfriend getting shot scared the fucking shit out of me, don't you get it?!"

"Don't. Don't you dare get all weird, you get all possessive like I'm some in a bird cage now that we know each of other of what we are, I care what you are, I care because we aren't supposed to be talking right now, history can't repeat itself with what happened with Mon-El and Kara from years ago! Don't YOU get it?!"

"I love you! Okay?! If you're looking for a reason of why I _DON'T_ get it is because I care about you as a person more than an alien that I can't be around because of some bullshit history that says there was a war, _aww_ like who fucking cares? Not me! I care about you no matter all rational reality and only wanting the best for you, the word is love. No matter how much it broke my heart, seeing you get dragged by your Mother so you wouldn't bleed out," They never ever heard their own voice crack like that in a middle of a rambling sentence (it's funny because Natalie doesn't ramble, doesn't get nervous but that's all they've been doing today) but kept talking with emotion closing their throat up by itself, hearing another crack in the air as they unclenches their fists, a knuckle re-breaking again.

But it rattled the walls in the room of Maggie, Alex, Lena and Kara in the room at the dinner table so they could keep an eye on both of them of how Natalie kept threatening to go and find that son of a bitch who shot Ruby in the first place, they didn't think they'd ever be a good person to do a bad thing, thoughts of murder. And Ruby, yanking her wires, pushing Dr. Hamilton out of her way to see either Natalie or her Mother if they were okay first, she didn't have her powers back so she had to take it easy for a couple days at least. But it even made Alex startle, almost dropping her phone and Ruby blinked in surprise, in fear, stepping back while Natalie raised a hand that was shaking as well their lip.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Alex stood, her hand on the waist holster, "No. No, you do not ever raise your voice like that to her again, you don't know what she's been through the past day, what kind of stress and fear you're creating even more right now when she should be resting."

"No, it's....no, no, it's okay. It's okay." Ruby stepped in between them, pushing her Aunt back a little for space who did willingly to not hurt Ruby by the strain of her arms Lena stood, growling out, "Ruby, come here right now. You do _NOT_ understand the uncontrolled strength a Daxamite has, even more on Earth than anywhere else, they could hurt you."

"I would, never. Don't you dare blame me for something I wouldn't do and that you tolerate, you allowed for weeks knowing of Ruby cutting her ankles, slitting her wrists, her thoughts at night and you didn't do anything until she said something herself! Because her Mother is your bestfriend, your sister and you thought it didn't happen. I did the second when she told me and I looked in her head but you didn't," They hiss out between clenched teeth, a fire staring in the usually greyish, blue eyes that Ruby oh so loves and Lena's nostrils flare while Kara holds her shoulders back the second she tried to pounce, "And _that's_ the difference between us."

"Ruby." Alex growled but Ruby shook her head, leaning on her ankles backward to go closer to Natalie, "Ruby Gisele Ar-" She started but Ruby's eyes watered this time, they knew her Mother said that before she tended to beat her black and blue in the ungodly hours of the night and they stepped in front of her which was too much of good timing than a mistake Natalie chose.

Their instead pushed by uncontrollable strength, their back hitting the stone cold wall with Lena's hand on their throat and Alex's fun she swiped on the way and they freeze, hands scratching at Lena's steel grip on their neck tendons as the air stops coming through and the gun drops. But the grip doesn't loosen, Lena is literally choking Natalie to death with both hands while Ruby is pushed back and Kara's hands pulling and tugging on Lena's shoulders but she won't move and calling J'onn for a syringe needle of Kryptonite and a code red It feels suffocating, it feels hot and cold at the same time of all the blood going to her face and Lena's cold grip loosens as the needle is sinked into her own neck by Alex, screaming in agony and snapping out of it as their dropped, coughing so hard tears form, it's blurry but Lena is pulled away by Agents and Kara right behind them while Maggie is holding their head in her lap, talking to her but they can't hear anything.

"Natalie, cough it up. Natalie, you have to cough so you can get the air out of your mouth to breathe, can you breathe?" The silky, firm voice talks to her and she sees blood, blood dripping off her fingertips of how hard they errr scratching Lena to get off and it scares them, they've never been physically hurt like that before and white gooey phlegm comes up, spitting on the floor and seeing Ruby beside them. Oh.

How classy.

"It hurts, it hurts, it-" "I know it does, Alex is going to get you tea and a heat up pad so the swelling will go down, okay? Does it feel like any vocal chords are bruised or damaged?" They don't understand why Maggie is asking all these questions until they spit up again and it's a tinge of red mixed in with white phlegm and oh, her vocal chords are damaged. It feels like straining to even talk until their helped up on the couch, a mug of tea in her trembling hands and Ruby coming back to sit beside her and a heat pad in her palms while putting the mug on the coffee table.

"This is going to hurt a little but it'll help okay?" Natalie nods. Ruby holds it up with both hands while the warmness is placed on their neck fully where they show it hurts and they shut their eyes, panting.

"Son of a fucking.....is....is, Lena, is Lena okay?"

"She's hanging in there, getting checked out and what caused her to freak out but she hasn't since the first time! I swear! I swear, she didn't mean it, she was just brainwashed by Lillian an-and a lot of other bad, bad people but she didn't mean to hurt you. I swear." Ruby's voice cracks with emotion this time while she gets up, holding her arms in front of her as a way to protect herself and Natalie gathers some balls, their neck doesn't even hurt that much but it was scary but they're fine, they are of Lena didn't mean it.

Standing in front of her but a few feet away for some distance and stills as Ruby takes a step back "I know that your Mother hates me any other way if you're gay, if you're not, I'll be here Ruby. You pissed me off the most at the Gala because you were an asshole, a dick, a meanie but honestly, those lunches in the cafeteria were disgusting. I don't think I would ever do that again for a girl," Natalie laughs with tears in their eyes, a little cloudy but wanting to see Ruby as well as she laughed back, shutting her eyes close

"They were such bad sandwiches," She laughs harder, thinking back of the past year. When she and Natalie first started talking more and starting dating, she would always eat at the cafeteria and there such bad, disgusting lunches that she tricked Natalie thinking she ate the food there on their own hour break until their next class after lunch, Natalie ate lot of sandwiches, nasty, cold and slimy tuna sandwiches. It was so gross, she remembers the mayo and the butter literally dripping off the bread with the tuna in between the bread but when they were together for a few more months, she told the truth and it ended in a tickle war. But she was surprised, Natalie would eat those nasty sandwiches for her and she let them in.

"I know, I ate a lot of them," Natalie laughs, shaking their head while hands stuck in the grey DEO logo sweatpants pockets and Ruby grins back but she's not open enough for a hug yet, Natalie knows her walls are thick, icy barriers separating her heart and her mind from each other of rational thoughts and her fight or flight mode

" _But, I know that you don't trust a lot of people and I get that, of your sexual assault, um, PTSD, and that sort of stuff with you don't like being richer sometimes, or like loud voices and I know how much you cry at night when I....I know it sounds creepy. It sounds creepy but I check up on you sometimes, just sometimes at night just to make sure you're okay or Quinn is okay, and okay now it sounds creepy. But, but I just don't think you should cry at night or, or fight with your Mother even though I know it's none of my business, but you shouldn't have to ask for her love. You shouldn't have to ask for love because you're more worthy.....not having to ask for it, you know? Okay, it sounds stupid now that it's just out.....out of my mouth from.....my brain, but-_ " They're instead pushed, hard and long while their back hits the DEO wall out in the hallway and they blink, wincing and Ruby comes out of the room straight for her and she backs up in the hallway, because what the fuck?

But they back up so much that a doorknob hits their back and Ruby bends closer, twisting it open and pushing them inside Still confused. Ruby turns around, breathing a little hard but no more tears and they frown opening their mouth but she holds up a finger, "Ah, Ah, Ah, my time. _But, I love you. I do, And I've never said that to anyone else but my family, my friends, Mary Jane and I'm freaking the fuck out now," She laughs, and Natalie does too a grin tickling her face and she holds her pointer finger to her trembling lips to find the right words. She has once chance in her life to speak the right, truthful words to the one person she loves the most, the most. "I think I love you more than I loved Justin Bieber in Grade 3, I had about six or seven wallpapers in my room when he first went big, when he had his first album and I wanted to sing like him since I was like, eight."_

" _And, and I know that scares me because I met him in Grade Nine for my surprise birthday party and I swear my scream, my scream was so loud because.....it sounds stupid now that I said it.....out loud but,-"_

"It's not! It's.....it's not stupid or I don't think it is. I'm scared to say those words too even to my little sister or my Dad but I don't want to scare YOU by saying it to you and stuff but I just.....I really, really, like you. And-" They're not sure what made Ruby walk the four feet separating them to Natalie to just shut them up of kissing them, at the time she was just swinging her eyes to their blueish, grey eyes to their lips thinking how soft they were like earlier in the court room. And the flush in their cheeks of rambling which Natalie does _NOT_ do, thinking how perfect it were earlier that day, in front of everyone. Everyone. But she couldn't care about anyone else, anything else, and it went all blank like a sheet of paper

Natalie is so considerate, so thoughtful; more of everything they are now then they were when meeting in Drama Class in Freshman Year, being the " _Girl Really Good at Soccer"_ , _to "The Class-Skipper"_ , to " _The Druggie and Bad Kid"_ but they're so considerate, their hands hovering in the air not knowing what to do, but knowing exactly _WHAT_ to do, Ruby is just coming out to her family, figuring what sexuality she is though she leans more onto Pansexuality, she didn't ever have a first kiss, with a girl or a feminine nonbinary individual before and they want to make sure she's okay. Safe. Comforted. Relaxed. So Ruby does soon relax, her tippy toes stop stretching in the air of how different their height difference is, her hands raking into their Ruby Rose haircut, and Natalie does too while their hands one on Ruby's hip and one holding the side of her face, and it's so, so perfect.

The kiss is a little shy at first of Ruby leaning back, looking all over Natalie's face like she's waiting for her to step back, hesitation and regretting like any other kiss she's had, 99.99% with guys and that 1% is Natalie.

_"I wouldn't just leave you like that, Natalie. Not you."_ She swallows, looking up to Natalie like she's memorizing, like she doesn't ever to lose them in this moment and they cant help but pull her closer. This kiss now is a little shy at first of Ruby leaning back of lips moving together of slight chapstick and Ruby's slight swollen lip and dried blood, dirt all over her face but Natalie doesn't care, they can't care, they know Ruby wants to help save the world even if it's a little proportion of it, working at the DEO, and they know that job will be hard with training, with working up to her family's expectations and everything with fighting aliens and shit like that but Ruby is here. She's here. Well, they don't care about that in a few seconds later as Ruby backs up, hearing a little _click!_ of locking the door and leaning against it and her hands wrapping around their neck to pull each other closer, their hiss through their nose for a little bit more air of how long their kissing, a hand creeping under Ruby's hospital gown to feel her skin of the back and one on the side of her neck.

Ruby's breath turns into a gasp, and they lean back, hands stilling, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, I-"

"God, shut up and kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it, just-" Natalie does it for her in the end while being lifted, both hands under her thighs as her body lightly pats the door behind her again and she feels Natalie's mouth open into a gasp, holding into all the strength, the confidence she has left right now of poking her tongue further in meeting the soft, squishy flesh softly, so hesitatingly. Natalie opens her mouth wider and then closing as her tongue is fucking trapped between their joined lips, so warm and so close. _Fuck, fuck,_ is this what people say when they say see fireworks? She feels vibration against the closed lips and the grip on her ass until she realizes Natalie moaned, Natalie fucking moaned for her, because of her, what she's doing, and she hums back, a longer kiss than what they've ever had but necessary.

(Or so it seems.)

Natalie lifts her ass into their palms as Ruby wraps her ankles around their back, walking to the back of the room where a desk is, clearing off the stacks of work papers, pens and a computer with a matching keyboard all with one arm and plopping Ruby on top of it and she gasps. "Natalie! That couldn't been important to someone!"

They chuckle with their hands trailing up and down the soft, bare thighs as the hospital gown rides up, "Do you want to take a breather? We can, we don't have to do anything else if you don't want to."

But Natalie can't seem to slow down, their heart rate or even their mind of thinking of _DOING_ things to Ruby right now which sounds inappropriate, which sounds wrong, so wrong to Ruby who has had emotional and physical trauma of her past sexual assault, her trauma of the domestic abuse from her own Mother, her depression, it sounds so wrong. They want to go slow with her, they want to go slow of asking Ruby for consent, to even touch her right now before they rip the blue and greenish hospital gown right off of her. It feels wrong to think of doing things to Ruby, but maybe it's their hormones in over drive of kissing Ruby fucking Arias right now of the second time today, and she can't stop the shiver taking over her body and a warm hand foes over their chest and one cupping their face

"Hey, hey it's me." Ruby reassures her but their heart doesn't slow down as Ruby's finger comes under their chin and they oblige, a single tear going down their face and they know Ruby doesn't expect it, they weren't even expecting it themselves of how it's not......" _scripted_."

"You scared the shit out of me," They breathe out, letting a sob take over and a Ruby's eyebrows scrunch up, hands holding their face and it's hard, it's hard to even talk about their feelings sometimes, a word is enough for Ruby to say something when they do too much at lunch time, smoking a cigarette more than they usually do, snapping a little too fast of being annoyed, that sort of thing and Ruby knows more than word says. And they love that about her. But a sound startled them, something rusty and metal and they see Ruby's finger down, down, down, pulling the DEO sweater zipper down, as their breath speeds up and _fuck_.

They can tell Ruby is turned on as much as they are, her finger feeling the hard bumps and valleys of muscle and the little dip of the belly button and Ruby bends down, her tongue tickling the skin but god, Ruby is literally sucking on her abs. Her tongue is hot, too hot and they moan, bucking their hips as Ruby plants another hickey, "Fuck you're so good, so good. So beautiful. So handsome. You're so good." God, they love Ruby's raspy, half open mouthed of resuming the kisses breathy and hot, their hips jerk forward again but Ruby seems to be a teasing kind of girl, trailing her mouth up to their neck, kissing and long licks from their collarbone to their chin but it doesn't feel gross or slimy, it just feels so good. They pull Ruby's chin up with a finger, it's a little more awkward and slower then they've seen in movies or even with an ex girlfriend but Ruby's mouth parts her lips and they take the opportunity to kind of awkwardly suck the puffy and loose bottom lip between their own lips 

Its a little bit of shifting to get comfortable again, sucking the puffy and warm lip between theirs and Ruby's upper lip bites down on theirs and fuck, it's getting hot, it's so perfect that they didn't expect but needed. Ruby's vibrates against theirs until it's a little moan, little moan(s) (!!!!) and the heat in their belly is getting the better of themselves but a hand sneaks around her head, lowering her gently on the table before coming up to straddle her waist. They've never been more turned on before but they need to slow down, grinding their hips soothes the ache between the center and Ruby's back arches, "Fuck, you're so hot, you're so...."

It's messy and hot and fucking exhausting with all the thoughts in Ruby's head to keep up with Natalie's actions of sucking her lower lip and pulling, grinding on her belly and own pelvis, whispering in her ear as she arched towards them for more relief, she sucks Natalie's tongue into the very back of her mouth while her tongue slithers up to tickle the roof of Natalie's mouth, (she read that it's a sensitive spot in making out with someone and Natalie's groan answers that for her) and thats her thoughts exactly. But it's so much, it's almost too much as she lets her go, tilting her head as Natalie kept giving her kisses under her chin, her jaw and she jerked her hips up of a special spot below her ear, "Oh you like that? Did I find a weak spot?" She groans in response, pulling Natalie's back down with her arms. She doesn't like flying even though she physically can as a half Kyrptonian alien and half human 

But she's experienced with flying, she's popped some pills in a school bathroom to just get through the day even though the pills last through lunch and she pops a few more in a water bottle and shaking it up, chugging the whole damn thing before going to her class but skipping out on it in the end of how mcuh she took, slurring her words and tripping over her feet to get to the quiet, empty spot on the library, hoping not to overdose. But she's experienced with flying, smoking seven cigarettes late at night to just feel something else than her Mother's abuse, bruises around her eyes and hoping no one can see the bruise under all the makeup she applied, the first time it happened it was like.....shock, she didn't register it into her brain which was only about a month her Aunt Lena was kidnapped and her Mother really collapsed under all that grief, the pain, the world. She would collapse too if her best friend was kidnapped, never seen again but isn't there more than one fucking law because of child abuse? 

But she loves Natalie so much that the dish experiences, the kind of high you get the first time you smoke, you pop, you drink, most people are still looking for that high but they never reach it. She never did. Never tried to until now, the love and care she has for Natalie is....it's like a scar and a fresh wound at the same time. The scar has been there since meeting Natalie in that black velvet suit at the Gala of their teasing tone but gentle eyes and will stick with her until....forever, it's like Natalie has been there forever. And the fresh wound hurts, it aches with regret, pain and loss of the three bullet scars scattered against her chest she saw when she woke up in that hospital bed, scared and alone, she wished she told Natalie but she had to read and write all reports of knowing Supergirl's Identity, Superman and everyone else and her wrist ached after writing her signature so much. 

But she loves Natalie, so much, it hurts to think that Natalie didn't _think_ she did but she hates drugs even more that it feels like a high of kissing Natalie, it's addicting and loving all at once. Wrapped in a fucking Christmas wrapping bow. But Natalie pulls away, stopping as their breaths join each other's and she leans forward but is stopped, "Hey, hey, where did you go just now?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I.....I love you so much, I love you, I promise I won't leave if you don't go. I'm sorry," She sobs, a hand coming to her face but Natalie pulls it down, kissing her hard and she inhales, kissing twice as hard.   
  


Natalie wouldn't ever lose Ruby.

And Ruby would never let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Good? Yeah? Maybe so?


End file.
